Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
