when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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