Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
