from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
