Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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