you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Randomize
