you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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