I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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