pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
My penis needs a shock collar
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
