they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
