Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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