I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
