I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
