We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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