As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Boobs are out for the taking
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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