dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
