I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
