Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
