well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
