This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
