i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I think people are normalizing furries
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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