omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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