his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
