Where is the hickey?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
