you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
