In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
