I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
