FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
