I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
