shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
