I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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