Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
