return my video game
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
