How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
