it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
