Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
