Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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