What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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