Got a toothbrush?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
