This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
