You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
