I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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