literally had 100 drinks last night.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
