How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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