We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
