the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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