tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My feet surprised me
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
