dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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