I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
