About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
