Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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