You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
